Happy Pi Day

Well, I was going to say Happy Pi Day! But this video really got me thinking. I can't believe I never saw this before. Although I did have some of these same thoughts when I took Trigonometry in High School.

I think I will celebrate Tau Day this June!

The Silver Bullet

That's what I've named my new van. Not very original but it was the perfect, if not obvious name for it. Isn't it awesome? I am so excited!

So I've been driving the same 2-door Toyota for 7 years and it has been so good to me, but getting a baby in and out of a car-seat in a 2-door car was quite challenging. I have bumped Keziah's head more times than I can count getting in and out of that car. So Michael Paul and I had been talking about getting something bigger for a while and I have always wanted to drive a mini-van. Yeah I know I'm weird. Maybe it's just the whole wanting to be the "stereotypical stay-at-home mom" fantasy. But a van certainly seemed more practical than a car and gets much better gas-milage than an SUV.

Of course I know nothing about cars and so this was very much Michael Paul's decision and he is convinced that the Toyota Previa is the best van they ever made. Unfortunately, they stopped making them in '98 (I think). So he's been on the look-out for a low milage one. We weren't planning on buying one just yet, but when this one came up with only 87,000 miles at a great price, he decided he should jump on it. Can I just say I love my hubby! I couldn't be happier. He said he really wanted to pull it into our driveway with a big red bow on it like they do in commercials but he didn't know where to find a bow that big. In any case, it is still a wonderful present! It is so roomy and nice and if it proves to be as reliable as our other Toyotas, (both of our current Toyotas have over 220,000 miles and still run great) we will get at least a good 150,000 more miles out of it.

Keziah seems to love being able to run around in the van. We actually went out and just played inside the van in the driveway yesterday. And I am sure she will appreciate me not bumping her head getting in and out of it!

The only down-side - it's an automatic. I loved driving a stick-shift. They are especially great for driving in mountains and it is much more fun to drive a manual. I will definitely miss that part of my old car. But Michael Paul says finding a van that's not an automatic is pretty impossible, so I shall get over it.

So the Silver Bullet is hopefully the vehicle I will be driving for many years to come. And it is also my hope and prayer that those extra back seats will be filled with more children :o)

Playing Outside

We've been having some unseasonably warm days here recently and Keziah is loving playing outside. We have an amazing and huge yard now in our new house and there is much exploring to be done. These are the first days she has really gotten to stay outside and play since she started walking. Too much fun!

I LOVE these pictures! My husband is such a great photographer.

Bath-time Success

I don't think I have shared this on the blog yet, so in case you haven't heard, Keziah HATES baths. In fact she hates large amounts of water. And by large amounts, I mean anything more than what is in a drinking glass.

She wasn't always like this. The first eight months of her life she LOVED baths. This was the typical reaction:

She loved to swim in the lake. One hot July day when our air-conditioning went out, I filled her infant tub with cool water and put her in it on the kitchen floor and she played happily with toys in the water for an hour.

Then around eight months old, something changed. We did bath-time like we always had, but she screamed and cried throughout the bath. I thought maybe she was just extra tired. I double checked the water and it was fine. But she was NOT happy. And every bath after that was more and more traumatic.

And I'm not just talking, oh she's a little unhappy. I mean she would scream and cry and shake with the most awful panicked expression. Seriously, she acted like she was being tortured. It broke my heart.

So for five months I've been trying to deal with this situation. I tried everything: showers, cooler water, warmer water, getting in with her, nursing throughout the bath, bath in the sink, bath outside. Every time it was so traumatic for her. Any expert would have told me, surely she must have had some traumatic experience with water that brought about this intense fear. I have racked my brain trying to figure it out, but there was never any such experience.

I realized it was more than just baths when we went to my SIL's and hiked through the wood at the back of her house down to a little creek. As soon as Keziah saw the water, she panicked. Even though she was wrapped right next to me in a sling, she freaked out and didn't calm down until I walked far enough away that the water was out of sight. A few days later my MIL tried to take her to their hot-tub and as soon as the cover was lifted - again - major panic attack.

I hated that she couldn't tell me why water scared her so much. I felt so helpless. I felt like I was breaking our attachment and her trust in me every time I attempted to bathe her.

And then it got worse. About two months ago, soon after our move, she started to have the same reaction whenever I took a shower. If she was in the bathroom and saw me get in the tub or shower, she would have a major melt down. Even if she was playing with Daddy in another room, she would hear that water running and would scream and scream as if someone were killing her mommy. I was at my wits' end to the say the least. I just stopped baths all together and resigned myself to the fact that she would be getting sponge baths for the indefinite future. It's not like she was ever super dirty. Her bum gets cleaned with each diaper change and her hands and face get cleaned at meal times. I just decided no more baths. As for me, I tried to take my showers when she was in deep sleep.

Then, yesterday, A light at the end of the tunnel!

So if you are still reading (yes I realize this is really long and most of my readers probably don't care about my daughter's bath-time drama) I have something amazing to share. But I had to share all that back-story so you would know just how amazing this is.

Yesterday, I got an idea. I wasn't consciously thinking about this problem, but I believe my subconscious hasn't stopped working on it. I got a large mixing bowl and filled it with warm water. Then Keziah and I got in a dry bathtub and I set her in my lap. I gave her a mini shower by dipping a washcloth in the bowl and squeezing it over her. She had easy access to nursing but chose to nurse only about half the time. She let me wash her completely with no crying. She wasn't laughing, but she was clearly not stressed and panicked. It was a definite step up from a sponge bath and I was finally able to really scrub her hair and rinse it well. I think the key was the fact that the water was a small amount and she wasn't submerged in it along with the fact that it wasn't as noisy or hard-hitting as a regular shower is.

Icing on the cake: So after our wonderful success, I handed her off to Daddy for drying off and dressing and I decided to see if I could get away with a shower myself. And it was the best, longest, most wonderful shower I've had in months because Keziah played happily with Daddy the whole time and was not at all distressed that Mommy was in the scary scary big bad shower!

So we have a new bath routine. Is it perfect? no. But I am thrilled with the thought of a clean little girl with out all the trauma. I am still worried that she will not be interested in swimming this summer and that even a hike by a creek might send her into a panic attack. I can't wait for her to start talking more in hopes that she can maybe explain what's so scary about water. In the mean time I am rejoicing in our small but incredible step yesterday!

Funny Pictures

This is how I found Keziah when she was supposedly being watched by her Daddy. To be fair, I'm the one that left the cereal box and magazines on the table within her reach - so we were equally at fault.

Check out the ice cycles that were on our back porch recently. That long one on the right actually got longer and was below the bannister before it melted.

Keziah's recent obsession is making a chair out of any and everything. She especially loves our basket of blankets. But she often gets stuck. I snapped this picture right before she realized she was stuck and started to cry.

If you got my Christmas letter, you read about how much Keziah loves our cat, Pumpkin. She has finally outgrown torturing the cat. We've been teaching gentleness for six months now and she is finally catching on. Now she gives very sweet kitty hugs and Pumpkin is much happier.

And this last picture is for Skip (check out his comment on my last post!).

One Year Pictures

Here's Michael Paul at one year:

Here's me:

Here's my twin, Julie and me (I'm on the left):

And here's Keziah:

Yes, she really is wearing the same dress and shoes that I am wearing and is in the same rocking chair. I love that my mom saved all that stuff.


So the big question is, who does she look like?

My Mommy Vision

"Where there is no vision, the people perish."

Proverbs 29:18

I'm not big on new years resolutions. I never make them. My thoughts over the last two weeks have nothing to do with the new year and everything to do with my daughter turning one. The baby days are quickly slipping through my fingers and I am becoming increasingly aware of new challenges ahead. So it is high time I got myself some vision.

When you get married, you say vows. But let's face it - the vows are pretty much the bare bones of it all. "To love, honor, and cherish ... in sickness and in health ...etc" is a great jumping off point. But Michael Paul and I discovered a few years into our marriage that we needed something more. Something specific to us, to our unique relationship. We needed a vision. So we wrote one. It was one of the best things we ever did as a couple. We use to read it out loud together from time to time. We should really start doing that again.

Anyway ... So I've been thinking. When Keziah was born we had a baby dedication ceremony for her at church. We took vows, "To raise the child up in the knowledge of the Lord ... pray for her ... etc." But like our marriage vows, it was simply a great jumping off point.

The baby days are in some ways hard but in some ways really easy. The major sacrifices are all physical. The sleepless nights, the constant nursing, the constant holding and rocking and soothing, the having to drop everything to clean up spit-up or change a diaper. It's all physical. It doesn't exactly require a lot of thought or problem solving skills. You just do it because you love your child.

I'm really enjoying sleeping more and actually waking up feeling rested. I'm really enjoying being able to do things with both hands because Keziah is content to play with her toys for extended periods of time. But I am not naive. There's a change coming. I can feel it creeping up on me. I'm about to trade physical exhaustion for mental exhaustion.

And when I'm really mentally tired, I will still need to respond to my daughter in an appropriate way. And that is when having a vision written on my heart can be a lifesaver.

A few tips on writing a vision:

- State things in the present tense. The future tense makes it seem like a bunch of goals for some ambiguous future that will never happen. A vision is not a goal but rather perspective for today.

- Try to state things in a positive way, "I do ...." rather than "I don't ..."

- Be specific, but not overly specific. For example, say, "We work together as a team." Not, "I wash dishes and you take out the trash."

- Read your vision aloud often. If it is a relationship vision, write "We ..." sentences and read them together. If it is a parenting vision, write "I .... you" sentences and read them to your child.

- Accept that you will fail. A good vision is not easy to live by.

So without further ado - here is the vision I've been thinking over, praying over, and writing.

My Mommy Vision

I treat you with dignity and respect because being young does not make you less worthy of basic human rights.

I recognize you are a unique child of God with your own feelings, preferences, and opinions, and I respect them.

I say 'yes' as much as possible; I do not abuse my authority as your mommy by demanding my own selfish desires.

I give you the benefit of the doubt because God created you and His creations are good.

I explain things to you. A rule without a reason is not a good rule.

I am consistent.

I trust you.

I am available and dependable when you need me, yet I allow you your independence when you need me no longer.

I teach by example because I know actions speak louder than words.

I remember that 'it is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance.' Therefore I am kind in my corrections.

I am patient and speak gently.

I know that I too am a sinner and therefore I extend grace and mercy to you.

I choose to be complimentary, not critical; I speak life, not death.

I clearly state my expectations and my expectations are reasonable.

I choose quality time with you over chores, for my relationship with you is far more important than a clean house.

I am humble; I apologize and ask your forgiveness when I fail you.

I give to you with no strings attached.

I am honest with you.

I love you unconditionally; Your personality, temperament, behavior, and decisions have no affect on my love for you; I do not use affection as a reward, nor do I withhold affection as a punishment.