Bath-time Success

I don't think I have shared this on the blog yet, so in case you haven't heard, Keziah HATES baths. In fact she hates large amounts of water. And by large amounts, I mean anything more than what is in a drinking glass.

She wasn't always like this. The first eight months of her life she LOVED baths. This was the typical reaction:

She loved to swim in the lake. One hot July day when our air-conditioning went out, I filled her infant tub with cool water and put her in it on the kitchen floor and she played happily with toys in the water for an hour.

Then around eight months old, something changed. We did bath-time like we always had, but she screamed and cried throughout the bath. I thought maybe she was just extra tired. I double checked the water and it was fine. But she was NOT happy. And every bath after that was more and more traumatic.

And I'm not just talking, oh she's a little unhappy. I mean she would scream and cry and shake with the most awful panicked expression. Seriously, she acted like she was being tortured. It broke my heart.

So for five months I've been trying to deal with this situation. I tried everything: showers, cooler water, warmer water, getting in with her, nursing throughout the bath, bath in the sink, bath outside. Every time it was so traumatic for her. Any expert would have told me, surely she must have had some traumatic experience with water that brought about this intense fear. I have racked my brain trying to figure it out, but there was never any such experience.

I realized it was more than just baths when we went to my SIL's and hiked through the wood at the back of her house down to a little creek. As soon as Keziah saw the water, she panicked. Even though she was wrapped right next to me in a sling, she freaked out and didn't calm down until I walked far enough away that the water was out of sight. A few days later my MIL tried to take her to their hot-tub and as soon as the cover was lifted - again - major panic attack.

I hated that she couldn't tell me why water scared her so much. I felt so helpless. I felt like I was breaking our attachment and her trust in me every time I attempted to bathe her.

And then it got worse. About two months ago, soon after our move, she started to have the same reaction whenever I took a shower. If she was in the bathroom and saw me get in the tub or shower, she would have a major melt down. Even if she was playing with Daddy in another room, she would hear that water running and would scream and scream as if someone were killing her mommy. I was at my wits' end to the say the least. I just stopped baths all together and resigned myself to the fact that she would be getting sponge baths for the indefinite future. It's not like she was ever super dirty. Her bum gets cleaned with each diaper change and her hands and face get cleaned at meal times. I just decided no more baths. As for me, I tried to take my showers when she was in deep sleep.

Then, yesterday, A light at the end of the tunnel!

So if you are still reading (yes I realize this is really long and most of my readers probably don't care about my daughter's bath-time drama) I have something amazing to share. But I had to share all that back-story so you would know just how amazing this is.

Yesterday, I got an idea. I wasn't consciously thinking about this problem, but I believe my subconscious hasn't stopped working on it. I got a large mixing bowl and filled it with warm water. Then Keziah and I got in a dry bathtub and I set her in my lap. I gave her a mini shower by dipping a washcloth in the bowl and squeezing it over her. She had easy access to nursing but chose to nurse only about half the time. She let me wash her completely with no crying. She wasn't laughing, but she was clearly not stressed and panicked. It was a definite step up from a sponge bath and I was finally able to really scrub her hair and rinse it well. I think the key was the fact that the water was a small amount and she wasn't submerged in it along with the fact that it wasn't as noisy or hard-hitting as a regular shower is.

Icing on the cake: So after our wonderful success, I handed her off to Daddy for drying off and dressing and I decided to see if I could get away with a shower myself. And it was the best, longest, most wonderful shower I've had in months because Keziah played happily with Daddy the whole time and was not at all distressed that Mommy was in the scary scary big bad shower!

So we have a new bath routine. Is it perfect? no. But I am thrilled with the thought of a clean little girl with out all the trauma. I am still worried that she will not be interested in swimming this summer and that even a hike by a creek might send her into a panic attack. I can't wait for her to start talking more in hopes that she can maybe explain what's so scary about water. In the mean time I am rejoicing in our small but incredible step yesterday!