Yes I am still pregnant

No, I have not had this baby yet!

(sigh!)

I have passed everyone's predictions including my own (which was yesterday). My sister predicted today, but things aren't looking too good for her either. As of right now nothing is happening other than a random Braxton Hicks contraction here and there, but I've been having those for months so they don't really mean anything.

Michael Paul and his sister have expressed a desire for a leap year baby. And that is certainly beginning to look like a possibility!

As for me, I am beginning to accept that maybe my February baby is meant to be a March baby.

(sigh!)

Nine Months

I've reached 40 weeks! In case you haven't been paying attention to my little ticker in my sidebar, I am officially overdue. That is of course if you believe in due dates (I don't). Just as I expected, my due date has come and gone. So when will this little one arrive? That is the question on everyone's mind I guess. I go back and forth from thinking, "I really think the baby is coming tonight" to "I really think I have at least another week to go".

Miss Keziah just had to be in a picture. She seems just as anxious as we are about this baby coming!

So here I am. Michael Paul is calling the baby "the torpedo" for obvious reasons.

Well, if I have your email, you can expect to get an announcement within 24 hours of the birth, and if you just follow me here, I will try to post it as well. Here's to hoping my next blog post is a birth announcement!

Musical Keziah

Keziah has always loved music. Recently she has started playing piano and guitar and making up songs every day. Unfortunately as soon as the camera comes out she stops. But I was recently able to sneak up behind her and catch this song. I don't understand all the lyrics but she is singing about "mama's candy". A few minutes before this performance we were having a discussion about mama's candy and how she has her own candy and we only eat candy after dinner if we finish our dinner. Sometimes I think she uses music to process things. Especially things she has big feelings about. I have noticed that she often makes up songs and sings shortly after something has disappointed her or frustrated her. It's like therapy to her. Which is a wonderful tool for me to build on. It will certainly make teaching her 'appropriate ways of dealing with big emotions' a good bit easier on my part if she is already discovering these tools on her own. Well, I'm rambling as usual. I'm sure you just want to see how cute she is so here it is:

In other Keziah news, she is really beginning to talk in an understandable way more and more. I am loving having actual conversations with her. In the next year I am hoping to start a "Keziah-isms" blog series to document all the hilarious things she says.

She continues to be a total spaz and completely fearless. She has recently surprised us with conquering all kinds of playground equipment that I felt for sure was only for ages 3+. She can make me quite nervous with all her climbing and jumping and gymnastics. But she is such a tough girl that no matter how much she falls, she just bounces back up and does it again. Although she is sporting some pretty nasty bruises these days.

Practicing her rock-climbing skills!

As far as becoming a big sister, she is so excited she just can't stand it. Everyday she asks if Sara (my midwife) is coming which is followed by the question, "I help check baby?" Sara is amazing at letting Keziah "help" her with all my prenatal checkups. She always comments that Keziah is going to grow up to be a midwife. Everyday, we have to "check baby" with a stethoscope that Michael Paul gave her. We talk a lot about the new baby. Keziah has thoroughly tested all the baby stuff on her dolls. When I talk about birth, she says, "baby come. I help." It will certainly be interesting to see how she reacts to it all when the time comes.

I am loving the two-year-old stage. She continues to amaze and bless me every day!

Adventures in a Musical Mess

I'm considering changing my blog title (no not really!). But a "musical mess" is the accurate description of our home right now. Michael Paul has taken on several guitar projects lately. I think I have mentioned before that he has a side hobby/ business of restoring vintage instruments. I call it a side business because he always makes money on his projects - sometimes a lot. He is very talented and very knowledgeable. Like he knows what instruments to buy, what is a good deal, and how to restore them in a way that will bring the most profit. Sometimes he will find an old body of a guitar for a good deal then hunt down all the original parts and pickups (sometimes buying a whole other guitar simply to strip it of its parts) to put on it and then sells it. Other times he knows it will be better to just refinish the guitar and put new parts on it. Sometimes he does completely original work, like making his own pickguards and custom parts to give a guitar a more artsy look. And then he is always mindful of the exact tone he wants and hunts down specific pots, pickups, and capacitors (and other electrical stuff I don't understand) in order to get the exact sound he wants. Yes he is very talented. And it is a great way to bring in extra income. So I call it his side business. But I also refer to it as his hobby, because in truth, a lot of the money he brings in simply goes to finance his own collection of vintage instruments. (which is nice because he gets to do what he loves without us having to factor that into our real budget). He also has this annoying habit of buying a "project guitar" and then after putting so much time and love into it, he can't bear to part with it, at least not until he enjoys it himself for a few months (or years!). So yeah, it's a hobby as well. Still, he will always sell a guitar when he needs to.

Keziah posing by some of his recent projects

So part of the reason for so many projects lately is we are about to pay for a birth and new baby. While he loves these projects, I still think it speaks volumes to his character that he is sacrificing so much time and energy to help pay for this baby creatively rather than just dipping into savings. He is a wonderful provider. This gift to our family and new baby often goes unnoticed, written off as *just* a hobby. But it's not. It's a vital part of the way he provides for his family and I am truly grateful! (Even if I have been tripping over guitars strewn about our house!)

These two guitars have affectionately been named Professor Scratchy and Colonel Mustard

And this one is Deb, but I call her "the ugliest guitar to enter our house"

So that's one thing. But in addition, Michael Paul has recently been drafted to lead worship at our church once a month. He has always played guitar along with others to lead worship. But being completely in charge is a little out of his comfort zone. And being the perfectionist that he is, he is not content to pick a few easy praise songs. No, he has been going through every worship song and hymn he knows as well as new songs and putting a lot of thought and time into what he will use. He is pouring over the scripture we will be studying in the sermon in order to pick songs that fit with the message. He is considering the flow of the service, the willingness of the congregation to learn new songs, and the perfect key to play each song in. He is constantly asking me questions: Is this key to high for the girls to sing in? Does this sound right? Should I do this intro ..... or this intro? And he is simply unwilling to do those easy G-C-D praise songs unless he throws in some crazy jazz cords to give them some interest. So he basically writes his own arrangements of every song he plays. He leads this Sunday for the first time. I know his brain is not going to stop working on this between now and then. Honestly I think he works harder than he has to. I love the parable of the talents Jesus taught in Matthew 25. But I like to joke that Michael Paul isn't in the parable because he is the servant who was given five talents but not content to steward them to bring in five more. No, he wouldn't be satisfied until he brought in twenty more. Thankfully, he is getting a little better at giving himself some grace.

And he has still found the time to compose a special lullaby for this new little one like he did for Keziah. He's been playing it a lot lately and it is beautiful!

So I have guitars and guitar parts all over my house. I have sheet music strewn all over my kitchen table. The nesting part of me is going crazy because I am just determined to have a perfectly clean, clutter-free house when this baby comes. But deep down, I am truly thankful for the "musical mess" I am living in right now. I am so thankful for my husband. He is a wonderful provider, a truly gifted and talented guitar craftsman and musician, and blessed with a servant's heart that knows he is called to steward these gifts to the ministering of his family and church. I am blessed to have him as a husband. Our children are blessed to have him as a father.

Preggo Art Part II and a Poem

I am officially 38 weeks. The point in time when everyone starts saying, "oooohhh any day now huh?" Although I do think I still have at least two weeks left and probably longer. I am blessed (or cursed depending on how you look at it) with a family history of carrying babies past due dates. So I am still in nesting mode and it seems that as soon as I mark one thing off my dry erase board, I think of two new things to add to it. I have been incredibly productive this last week but still have some things that really need to get done. Thankfully, Keziah has decided to enter into a "preference for Daddy" phase. Perfect timing! Since she is content to hang out with him, I'm able to get things done more efficiently. We hope the phase doesn't end soon as it will certainly make things easier for me to recover and bond with the new baby.

We managed to snap a few artsy photos this week. We did this for Keziah's pregnancy too and I love them (link here). I think pregnant women are so beautiful. So as much as I hate having my picture taken, I know I will treasure these in the future.

I actually don't look that big in this photo but that is just the angle. I really do look 38 weeks pregnant in real life. I am blessed to not gain weight anywhere but my belly. I was not blessed enough to avoid the stretch marks this time! But that is what the retouch button on my iPhoto is for! ;)

More importantly than all the "nesting" preparations, are the preparations I am making in my heart, mind, and spirit. With both Keziah's pregnancy and this one, I find myself entering more and more into a calm meditative state as I approach birth and the meeting of this new little one. I find I begin to withdraw from people. I talk less. I pray more. I seem to notice things in nature more. I've found this to be true even with an active two year old! Today Keziah and I sat in the grass and admired acorns for half an hour. I showed her how to take the hat off an acorn and put it back on again. We soaked up sun. We were both at peace. I anticipate these moments becoming more frequent in the weeks ahead. One of my favorite things to meditate on is a little poem I stumbled upon toward the end of Keziah's pregnancy. I find myself reciting this in my head often these days. I will start to say it aloud to the baby soon.

Frail newborn wings

Small voice that sings

New little beating heart

Dread not thy birth

Nor fear the earth -

The Infinite thou art.

-Richard LeGallienne